I Planted Rhubarb Next to My Cat’s Grave, and I Can’t Eat it.

In honor of National Gardening Day

Ginger Cook

--

Photo by Katya Austin on Unsplash

Last year's attempts were disastrous.

Please understand that I planted the Rhubarb before my cat left this world.

I planted the bitter ass shit in honor of my dad because Rhubarb was his favorite thing next to Winston Lights.

But suddenly my best friend, my precious cat Idgie Threadgoode, got sick. The only good burial spot was next to the Rhubarb when she passed away.

It seems morbid to eat it.

I know my dad is giggling in the spirit world. Like, serves you right. Don’t waste your time planting stuff you aren’t going to eat. Remember me for how handsome I was instead.

I also planted tomatoes because I was determined to make the best Fried Green Tomatoes since The Whistle Stop Cafe.

By the way, you’re probably too young to read this story If you aren’t catching on to the trend here but that’s ok, I still want you to read it.

27 The Bee’s Knees ideas | fried green tomatoes movie, fried green tomatoes, green tomatoes (pinterest.com)

And because I clearly suck —

(I wanted a sick pumpkin patch, ok?)

I also planted roughly 800,000 pumpkins right next to my tomatoes. Within weeks the pumpkin vines were so uncontrollable, weaving and snaking through my tomatoes, that they could not be saved no matter how hard I tried.

I would see a spot of green through my pumpkin forest and think,

ahh! We have one tomato!

But it would either be in a death grip of vines or missing one half.

Sadly, I only produced about 3 actual pumpkins out of the thousands that happily sprouted. Every time one grew to the point where I thought I could take it off and sprinkle my porch with my homegrown beauties, it would snap in half and the bottom would fall out.

--

--

Ginger Cook

All the funny things please, they keep me from severe depression. If you like Pearl Jam and peanut butter, we might be soul mates.