Member-only story
vulnerability and shit
The Blue
I’m at peace
What’s up bruh?
The fuck? GC is alive?
Yeah, but it was starting to get heavy here for me.
This beautiful platform– the one that allowed me to meet new people and find my voice… began to take voices away.
We’re writers. We know how to have a friendly debate. We know how to respond to an opinion piece with respect, even if we disagree. We can love each other and love our friends with different backgrounds and political views. But I noticed so many people fighting. It hurt me to see it.
Man, we have enough of that outside of here. This is where we go to get away from that shitty place, is it not?
But WHATEVER.
Anyway, that’s why I’ve been mostly gone, popping in here and there to check on my dudes. All of you.
But here’s a little something I wrote recently.
Just in case ya missed me. ;)
I’m in my bed, big enough for two or more.
Three or four, if you’re into that.
But it’s only me.
I’m in one of those depressive moods. I’ve been here for quite a while.
Lonely.
Sad.
Untouched.
Unnoticed.
Most of all, uninspired.
And I know it’ll pass, it always does, and it probably has something to do with the dreadfully hot fucking summer. I hate it.
But right now, I think I could stay here for a month and not move.
My eyes close because all there is to do is sleep.
Something changes. There’s a shift.
Behind my eyelids is a burst of gorgeous grays, purples, olive greens, and crystal blues.
I remain still.
His strong body wraps around me, holding me. He gently holds my arms and legs down like a weighted blanket.
His mind and his thoughts envelop me in heat, love, and compassion.
I’m secure, safe, warm.
I’m peaceful.
I sense his smile, and it feels like a Friday night when I first crack open my favorite beer.
His mind seeps into mine, and it’s like the opening chords to my favorite song, the one I could listen to over and over for a million years.
His slow, steady breath feels like I’m drifting softly out to sea, in the crystal blue waters surrounded by the crystal blue sky.
His strength feels like that of one thousand gods.
He’s here while I’m asleep, while I’m sad.
He’s what I need for now; he’s all I need.
Until I wake up.
Until I’m ok again.
Leave me a note. Say hi, bitches. I miss you.
❤ GC
