Motherhood

We Were Good

It stings, yet it heals

Ginger Cook
7 min readAug 20, 2024

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Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

I always knew when I was pregnant because I would get a urinary tract infection.

In my forty one years, I’ve experienced eight horrendous UTIs, eight pregnancies, and four beautiful, healthy babies. Four miscarriages.

But on that day in 2002, I had no idea why it stung when I went to the bathroom and why it felt like a family of Legos were having a campfire in my stomach.

We didn’t have insurance, so my big brother took me to the urgent care to see about antibiotics.

Congratulations, you’re pregnant.

The drive home was awkward because I was pregnant by my brother’s wife’s brother.

It’s not incestual, although the first time you read it, it sounds like it might be.

After he dropped me off at home, I sat in my newly painted bedroom and wondered what the fuck I was going to do.

The walls were a fresh coat of dark blue, almost black, on three walls. The fourth wall was bright yellow, with blue and yellow flower wall stickers around the top. I had a new loft bed, a one hundred CD changer, bean bags, and posters of Shakira, Lou Diamond Phillips, Elvis, and Creed.

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Ginger Cook

Severely depressed. Anxious about everything. Sound familiar?